You don’t own the cat.
You report to it.

HISS stands for Human In Systemic Subordination, which is just the official term for what every cat owner already knows. The cat runs the house. The human operates the can opener.

This minimalist design keeps things simple with clean typography and subtle paw prints that say exactly what needs to be said. No drama. Just an honest acknowledgment of the power structure.

It’s for the humans who refill the food bowl on schedule, surrender their favorite chair without protest, and somehow end up attending mandatory cuddle sessions whether they planned to or not. Around EpilepticAL, AL the Epileptic Cat would absolutely approve of this organizational chart.

Wear your rank with pride.

Product Details

• Unisex fit
• Soft cotton blend (varies slightly by color)
• High-quality front print
• Runs true to size
• Machine wash cold, tumble dry low

POD Disclaimer

This product is made to order through our print-on-demand partner. Please allow up to 2 weeks for production and shipping. Some orders may be fulfilled by an overseas print partner depending on inventory availability. Tracking will be provided once your order ships.

Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Made in Bangladesh

Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors , Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean