{"product_id":"very-cozy-believe-me-political-parody-velveteen-blanket","title":"Very Cozy. Believe Me. Political Parody Velveteen Blanket","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"282\" data-end=\"309\"\u003e📝 Product Description\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"310\" data-end=\"422\"\u003eThis blanket is \u003cstrong data-start=\"326\" data-end=\"339\"\u003every cozy\u003c\/strong\u003e. In fact, it’s \u003cem data-start=\"355\" data-end=\"369\"\u003etremendously\u003c\/em\u003e cozy. Other blankets can’t compete. Everyone agrees.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"424\" data-end=\"808\"\u003eFeaturing a bold political parody design with a recognizable silhouette, patriotic backdrop, and tongue-in-cheek declaration of unmatched comfort, this blanket delivers both warmth and wit. The velveteen front showcases vibrant, high-detail printing, while the brushed reverse adds extra softness—making it perfect for couch lounging, bed layering, or dramatic statements during naps.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"810\" data-end=\"992\"\u003eWhether you’re buying it as a gag gift, a conversation starter, or because you genuinely love a good blanket with opinions, this one wraps you in comfort and satire at the same time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"994\" data-end=\"997\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"999\" data-end=\"1022\"\u003e✨ Product Features\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1023\" data-end=\"1364\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1023\" data-end=\"1082\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1025\" data-end=\"1082\"\u003eVelveteen front with brushed reverse for extra softness\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1083\" data-end=\"1128\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1085\" data-end=\"1128\"\u003eHigh-detail, full-color print on one side\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1129\" data-end=\"1199\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1131\" data-end=\"1199\"\u003eMedium heavy-weight fabric (approx. 300 g\/m²) — warm but not bulky\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1200\" data-end=\"1251\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1202\" data-end=\"1251\"\u003eDurable double-needle topstitching on all seams\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1252\" data-end=\"1313\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1254\" data-end=\"1313\"\u003e100% polyester (83\/17 polyester-spandex option available)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1314\" data-end=\"1364\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1316\" data-end=\"1364\"\u003eMeets safety and chemical compliance standards\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1366\" data-end=\"1369\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1371\" data-end=\"1394\"\u003e📏 Available Sizes\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1395\" data-end=\"1572\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1395\" data-end=\"1454\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1397\" data-end=\"1454\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1397\" data-end=\"1406\"\u003eSmall\u003c\/strong\u003e – Great for lap use, office chairs, or travel\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1455\" data-end=\"1507\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1457\" data-end=\"1507\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1457\" data-end=\"1467\"\u003eMedium\u003c\/strong\u003e – Ideal couch throw or accent blanket\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1508\" data-end=\"1572\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1510\" data-end=\"1572\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1510\" data-end=\"1519\"\u003eLarge\u003c\/strong\u003e – Generous coverage for beds or full-body lounging\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1574\" data-end=\"1577\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1579\" data-end=\"1604\"\u003e🧼 Care Instructions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1605\" data-end=\"1773\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1605\" data-end=\"1644\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1607\" data-end=\"1644\"\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C \/ 90°F)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1645\" data-end=\"1699\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1647\" data-end=\"1699\"\u003eHand washing recommended to extend product quality\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1700\" data-end=\"1718\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1702\" data-end=\"1718\"\u003eTumble dry low\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1719\" data-end=\"1736\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1721\" data-end=\"1736\"\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1737\" data-end=\"1752\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1739\" data-end=\"1752\"\u003eDo not iron\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1753\" data-end=\"1773\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1755\" data-end=\"1773\"\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1775\" data-end=\"1778\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1780\" data-end=\"1809\"\u003e📦 Production \u0026amp; Shipping\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1810\" data-end=\"2054\"\u003eThis blanket is made to order. Each piece is produced specifically for your order, which may cause slight variations in production and shipping time. Made-to-order production helps reduce waste and ensures every blanket is crafted just for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2056\" data-end=\"2059\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2061\" data-end=\"2079\"\u003e⚠️ Disclaimer\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2080\" data-end=\"2226\"\u003eThis product is intended as political satire and parody. It is not affiliated with or endorsed by any political candidate, party, or organization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width: 360px;\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e30\" × 40\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e50\" × 60\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color: #000000; font-weight: 500; text-align: left; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e60\" × 80\"\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e50.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e60.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003eHeight, in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e40.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e60.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding: 10px; color: #525252; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid #ededed; word-break: break-word;\"\u003e80.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"EpiAl's Shop","offers":[{"title":"30\" × 40\"","offer_id":48679863976151,"sku":"26020517406006808856","price":24.59,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"50\" × 60\"","offer_id":48679864008919,"sku":"12736650033356452397","price":34.75,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"60\" × 80\"","offer_id":48679864041687,"sku":"28861841221653333574","price":43.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"url":"https:\/\/swiftcove-3.myshopify.com\/products\/very-cozy-believe-me-political-parody-velveteen-blanket","provider":"Swiftcove","version":"1.0","type":"link"}