{"product_id":"official-chaos-collector-keepsake-box","title":"Official Chaos Collector — Keepsake Box","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"flex flex-col text-sm pb-25\"\u003e\n\u003csection class=\"text-token-text-primary w-full focus:outline-none [--shadow-height:45px] has-data-writing-block:pointer-events-none has-data-writing-block:-mt-(--shadow-height) has-data-writing-block:pt-(--shadow-height) [\u0026amp;:has([data-writing-block])\u0026gt;*]:pointer-events-auto scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]\" dir=\"auto\" data-turn-id=\"request-69d708c3-34e8-832c-9293-b1fc51ab5ced-28\" data-testid=\"conversation-turn-120\" data-scroll-anchor=\"true\" data-turn=\"assistant\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"text-base my-auto mx-auto pb-10 [--thread-content-margin:var(--thread-content-margin-xs,calc(var(--spacing)*4))] @w-sm\/main:[--thread-content-margin:var(--thread-content-margin-sm,calc(var(--spacing)*6))] @w-lg\/main:[--thread-content-margin:var(--thread-content-margin-lg,calc(var(--spacing)*16))] px-(--thread-content-margin)\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"[--thread-content-max-width:40rem] @w-lg\/main:[--thread-content-max-width:48rem] mx-auto max-w-(--thread-content-max-width) flex-1 group\/turn-messages focus-visible:outline-hidden relative flex w-full min-w-0 flex-col agent-turn\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex max-w-full flex-col gap-4 grow\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-message-author-role=\"assistant\" data-message-id=\"1a73ddc9-5ac6-45e7-892b-55fce0e5a7a5\" dir=\"auto\" data-message-model-slug=\"gpt-5-3-instant\" class=\"min-h-8 text-message relative flex w-full flex-col items-end gap-2 text-start break-words whitespace-normal outline-none keyboard-focused:focus-ring [.text-message+\u0026amp;]:mt-1\" data-turn-start-message=\"true\" tabindex=\"0\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex w-full flex-col gap-1 empty:hidden\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"markdown prose dark:prose-invert w-full wrap-break-word dark markdown-new-styling\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"100\" data-end=\"209\"\u003eStep aside, bureaucracy.\u003cbr data-start=\"124\" data-end=\"127\"\u003eThere’s a new office in charge… and it runs on glitter and questionable decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"211\" data-end=\"548\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"215\" data-end=\"243\"\u003eOfficial Chaos Collector\u003c\/strong\u003e keepsake box looks like it came straight out of a very important meeting… that absolutely went off the rails. Topped with a 6\" glossy ceramic tile featuring a presidential-style parody seal over a dramatic blue crystal backdrop, it delivers authority with just enough side-eye to keep things interesting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"550\" data-end=\"612\"\u003eIt’s polished. It’s official. It absolutely cannot be audited.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"614\" data-end=\"859\"\u003eCrafted from premium rubberwood, this box feels as solid as your best intentions (and far more organized). Inside, a soft felt lining keeps your items and keepsakes safe from scratches, while dual hinges lock open at 90° like they mean business.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"861\" data-end=\"1010\"\u003eSet it on your desk, dresser, or wherever you conduct your daily chaos. It’ll hold your sparkle, your secrets, and possibly your last shred of order.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1012\" data-end=\"1055\"\u003eCabinet-level storage. Zero accountability.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1057\" data-end=\"1060\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"whoai2\" data-start=\"1062\" data-end=\"1088\"\u003e\u003cspan role=\"text\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1066\" data-end=\"1086\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1089\" data-end=\"1588\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"mw1sbu\" data-start=\"1089\" data-end=\"1175\"\u003e6\" glossy sublimation ceramic tile lid with “Official Chaos Collector” parody seal\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"ipegxa\" data-start=\"1176\" data-end=\"1253\"\u003eHigh-quality rubberwood body with your choice of varnish or glossy finish\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"o2u953\" data-start=\"1254\" data-end=\"1316\"\u003eDramatic blue crystal background for a bold, high-end look\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"svha0z\" data-start=\"1317\" data-end=\"1376\"\u003eSoft felt-lined interior to protect items and keepsakes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1kewif1\" data-start=\"1377\" data-end=\"1436\"\u003eDual hinges lock at a 90° angle for stable, easy access\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"17fszos\" data-start=\"1437\" data-end=\"1498\"\u003eSlip-resistant felt base keeps everything firmly in place\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"k2zh6v\" data-start=\"1499\" data-end=\"1588\"\u003eGift-ready construction perfect for birthdays, holidays, coworkers, and satire lovers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1590\" data-end=\"1593\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"1c5tbri\" data-start=\"1595\" data-end=\"1616\"\u003e\u003cspan role=\"text\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1599\" data-end=\"1614\"\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1617\" data-end=\"1851\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1sp0sl1\" data-start=\"1617\" data-end=\"1663\"\u003ePolitical humor fans and satire collectors\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1y7hwx9\" data-start=\"1664\" data-end=\"1740\"\u003eGovernment employees with a sense of humor (rare, but we believe in you)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"13m2p8o\" data-start=\"1741\" data-end=\"1794\"\u003eDesk décor that says “I’m organized… technically”\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1anqcot\" data-start=\"1795\" data-end=\"1851\"\u003eGifts that land somewhere between classy and chaotic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1853\" data-end=\"1856\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"1hiwnlk\" data-start=\"1858\" data-end=\"1885\"\u003e\u003cspan role=\"text\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1862\" data-end=\"1883\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1886\" data-end=\"2013\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"ksnp13\" data-start=\"1886\" data-end=\"1936\"\u003eWipe gently with a clean, dry microfiber cloth\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"kf9eda\" data-start=\"1937\" data-end=\"2013\"\u003eAvoid harsh cleaning chemicals to preserve the glossy finish and artwork\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2015\" data-end=\"2018\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"hpcudn\" data-start=\"2020\" data-end=\"2077\"\u003e\u003cspan role=\"text\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2024\" data-end=\"2075\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping (handled with… authority)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2078\" data-end=\"2255\"\u003eEach piece is made to order through our print-on-demand partners. That means it’s created specifically for you after purchase, not sitting in a warehouse waiting for approval.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2257\" data-end=\"2314\"\u003ePlease allow up to 2 weeks for production and shipping.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2316\" data-end=\"2487\"\u003eTo keep delivery efficient, your order may be produced by one of our trusted international partners. Same quality, just taking the most efficient route to your doorstep.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2489\" data-end=\"2577\"\u003eOn-demand production helps reduce waste… which is more than we can say for most systems.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2579\" data-end=\"2582\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"ttwczn\" data-start=\"2584\" data-end=\"2598\"\u003e\u003cspan role=\"text\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2588\" data-end=\"2596\"\u003eSize\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2599\" data-end=\"2669\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"x1dhm1\" data-start=\"2599\" data-end=\"2611\"\u003eOne size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"c594jw\" data-start=\"2612\" data-end=\"2630\"\u003eWidth: 7.24 in\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"rqwl93\" data-start=\"2631\" data-end=\"2650\"\u003eHeight: 2.76 in\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1jwn7qf\" data-start=\"2651\" data-end=\"2669\"\u003eDepth: 7.24 in\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2671\" data-end=\"2674\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2676\" data-end=\"2739\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003eOfficially certified.\u003cbr data-start=\"2697\" data-end=\"2700\"\u003eMildly unhinged.\u003cbr data-start=\"2716\" data-end=\"2719\"\u003ePerfectly contained.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/section\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"EpiAl's Shop","offers":[{"title":"Ebony Black \/ One size","offer_id":48679823737047,"sku":"29087154268485712944","price":55.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"url":"https:\/\/swiftcove-3.myshopify.com\/products\/official-chaos-collector-keepsake-box","provider":"Swiftcove","version":"1.0","type":"link"}