{"product_id":"fake-news-it-s-not-burnt-tea-towel-funny-political-parody-kitchen-towel","title":"Fake News It’s Not Burnt Tea Towel | Funny Political Parody Kitchen Towel","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"98\" data-end=\"153\"\u003e“Fake news. It’s not burnt.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"155\" data-end=\"241\"\u003eThe smoke? Alleged.\u003cbr data-start=\"174\" data-end=\"177\"\u003eThe evidence? Disputed.\u003cbr data-start=\"200\" data-end=\"203\"\u003eThe dinner? Still… technically edible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"243\" data-end=\"552\"\u003eThis \u003cstrong data-start=\"248\" data-end=\"278\"\u003epolitical parody tea towel\u003c\/strong\u003e brings bold humor straight into your kitchen, featuring a mock “breaking news” moment where the facts are… flexible. A pointing silhouette, a suspicious pan, and one very confident denial make this the perfect accessory for anyone who cooks with optimism instead of timers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"554\" data-end=\"617\"\u003eBecause if you say it’s not burnt loud enough… it might not be.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"619\" data-end=\"644\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"619\" data-end=\"642\"\u003eWhy You’ll Love It:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"645\" data-end=\"935\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"4syoox\" data-start=\"645\" data-end=\"696\"\u003eSharp, satirical design with unapologetic humor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"tlvqxr\" data-start=\"697\" data-end=\"757\"\u003eFunctional and funny, because your kitchen deserves both\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"zrjbbe\" data-start=\"758\" data-end=\"817\"\u003eGreat conversation starter for guests who notice things\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"pgoeny\" data-start=\"818\" data-end=\"879\"\u003ePerfect for cooks who occasionally “reinterpret” outcomes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1tapwgp\" data-start=\"880\" data-end=\"935\"\u003eAvailable in two fabric options to match your style\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"937\" data-end=\"960\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"937\" data-end=\"958\"\u003ePick Your Fabric:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"961\" data-end=\"1070\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"tyf7vd\" data-start=\"961\" data-end=\"1014\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong data-start=\"963\" data-end=\"974\"\u003eCotton:\u003c\/strong\u003e soft, absorbent, classic kitchen feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"17mzoo6\" data-start=\"1015\" data-end=\"1070\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong data-start=\"1017\" data-end=\"1031\"\u003ePolyester:\u003c\/strong\u003e vibrant print, durable, quick-drying\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1072\" data-end=\"1225\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1072\" data-end=\"1109\"\u003eHang It. Use It. Deny Everything.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1109\" data-end=\"1112\"\u003ePerfect for oven handles, kitchen displays, or gifting to that one friend who insists nothing is ever overcooked.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1227\" data-end=\"1267\"\u003eConfidence is key. Evidence is optional.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1269\" data-end=\"1292\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1269\" data-end=\"1290\"\u003eProduct Features:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1293\" data-end=\"1457\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1yst9ax\" data-start=\"1293\" data-end=\"1329\"\u003eAvailable in cotton or polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"ekwsql\" data-start=\"1330\" data-end=\"1366\"\u003eBright, durable full-color print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1kp6vdu\" data-start=\"1367\" data-end=\"1401\"\u003eLightweight and easy to handle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1rkmlji\" data-start=\"1402\" data-end=\"1433\"\u003eHemmed edges for durability\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"8tpp9i\" data-start=\"1434\" data-end=\"1457\"\u003ePrinted on one side\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1459\" data-end=\"1470\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1459\" data-end=\"1468\"\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1471\" data-end=\"1484\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"gf4hv9\" data-start=\"1471\" data-end=\"1484\"\u003e18\" × 30\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1486\" data-end=\"1510\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1486\" data-end=\"1508\"\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1511\" data-end=\"1604\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1rjllah\" data-start=\"1511\" data-end=\"1552\"\u003eMachine wash cold with similar colors\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"11ljc0t\" data-start=\"1553\" data-end=\"1586\"\u003eTumble dry low or hang to dry\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"5e08t3\" data-start=\"1587\" data-end=\"1604\"\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"EpiAl's Shop","offers":[{"title":"Cotton Twill \/ 18\" × 30\"","offer_id":48679821082839,"sku":"28700884093483984225","price":23.84,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Polyester \/ 18\" × 30\"","offer_id":48679821115607,"sku":"25819761886690849546","price":22.2,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"url":"https:\/\/swiftcove-3.myshopify.com\/products\/fake-news-it-s-not-burnt-tea-towel-funny-political-parody-kitchen-towel","provider":"Swiftcove","version":"1.0","type":"link"}