{"product_id":"assigned-human-cat-dress-lifetime-assignment-slip-dress","title":"Assigned Human Cat Dress – Lifetime Assignment Slip Dress","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"116\" data-end=\"166\"\u003eYou didn’t choose the cat.\u003cbr data-start=\"142\" data-end=\"145\"\u003eThe cat assigned you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"168\" data-end=\"372\"\u003eThis dress leans all the way into that truth. A repeating faux-seal pattern declares what every cat owner already knows: \u003cem data-start=\"289\" data-end=\"327\"\u003eAssigned Human. Lifetime Assignment.\u003c\/em\u003e No appeals. No reassignment. No exit clause.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"374\" data-end=\"555\"\u003eThe soft gold base and deep plum seal give it that official-but-suspicious vibe, like paperwork you never signed but are somehow bound to forever. And honestly? You’re fine with it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"557\" data-end=\"758\"\u003eLight, fitted, and just a little flirty, this piece moves easily from casual days to dressed-up nights. Pair it with sneakers and a “don’t talk to me” attitude, or heels and full main-character energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"760\" data-end=\"830\"\u003eEither way, the message is clear:\u003cbr data-start=\"793\" data-end=\"796\"\u003eYou belong to a cat. And it shows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"832\" data-end=\"835\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-section-id=\"5mln0p\" data-start=\"837\" data-end=\"862\"\u003e\u003cspan role=\"text\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"840\" data-end=\"860\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"863\" data-end=\"1299\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1jg8imr\" data-start=\"863\" data-end=\"933\"\u003e90% polyester, 10% spandex for a soft, stretchy, body-skimming fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1vht7ts\" data-start=\"934\" data-end=\"999\"\u003eBreathable, skin-friendly fabric for comfortable all-day wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"lmghoi\" data-start=\"1000\" data-end=\"1062\"\u003eDeep V neckline designed to highlight collarbone and shape\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"18sffbx\" data-start=\"1063\" data-end=\"1116\"\u003eAdjustable shoulder straps for a personalized fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"9dw4ms\" data-start=\"1117\" data-end=\"1173\"\u003eRuffled hem adds movement and a subtle, playful edge\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"19p6m65\" data-start=\"1174\" data-end=\"1242\"\u003eAll-over faux seal print: “Assigned Human – Lifetime Assignment”\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"119j2ya\" data-start=\"1243\" data-end=\"1299\"\u003eLightweight and easy to style for multiple occasions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1301\" data-end=\"1304\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-section-id=\"1cekfej\" data-start=\"1306\" data-end=\"1332\"\u003e\u003cspan role=\"text\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1309\" data-end=\"1330\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1333\" data-end=\"1456\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"oivan2\" data-start=\"1333\" data-end=\"1373\"\u003eHand wash or machine wash (max 45ºC)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"5e08t3\" data-start=\"1374\" data-end=\"1391\"\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1bx6cq2\" data-start=\"1392\" data-end=\"1428\"\u003eDo not soak for extended periods\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"qtycx6\" data-start=\"1429\" data-end=\"1456\"\u003eHang or lay flat to dry\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1458\" data-end=\"1461\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-section-id=\"1l31ls8\" data-start=\"1463\" data-end=\"1500\"\u003e\u003cspan role=\"text\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1466\" data-end=\"1498\"\u003eProduction \u0026amp; Shipping Notice\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1501\" data-end=\"1712\"\u003eEach dress is made to order. Please allow approximately 2 weeks for production and shipping. This item may be fulfilled by one of our trusted production partners. Tracking will be provided once your order ships.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1501\" data-end=\"1712\"\u003eImage on dress:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1501\" data-end=\"1712\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0703\/7471\/9763\/files\/assigned_human.jpg?v=1775089637\" alt=\"\" width=\"221\" height=\"221\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1458\" data-end=\"1461\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable class=\"w-fit min-w-(--thread-content-width)\" data-start=\"51\" data-end=\"505\"\u003e\n\u003cthead data-start=\"51\" data-end=\"115\"\u003e\n\u003ctr data-start=\"51\" data-end=\"115\"\u003e\n\u003cth class=\"\" data-start=\"51\" data-end=\"58\" data-col-size=\"sm\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth class=\"\" data-start=\"58\" data-end=\"75\" data-col-size=\"sm\"\u003eLength (cm\/in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth class=\"\" data-start=\"75\" data-end=\"94\" data-col-size=\"sm\"\u003e1\/2 Bust (cm\/in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth class=\"\" data-start=\"94\" data-end=\"115\" data-col-size=\"sm\"\u003e1\/2 Waist (cm\/in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody data-start=\"181\" data-end=\"505\"\u003e\n\u003ctr data-start=\"181\" data-end=\"245\"\u003e\n\u003ctd data-start=\"181\" data-end=\"188\" data-col-size=\"sm\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-start=\"188\" data-end=\"205\" data-col-size=\"sm\"\u003e60 \/ 23.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-start=\"205\" data-end=\"224\" data-col-size=\"sm\"\u003e40 \/ 15.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-start=\"224\" data-end=\"245\" data-col-size=\"sm\"\u003e34 \/ 13.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr data-start=\"246\" data-end=\"310\"\u003e\n\u003ctd data-start=\"246\" data-end=\"253\" data-col-size=\"sm\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-start=\"253\" data-end=\"270\" data-col-size=\"sm\"\u003e61 \/ 24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-start=\"270\" data-end=\"289\" data-col-size=\"sm\"\u003e42.5 \/ 16.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-col-size=\"sm\" data-start=\"289\" data-end=\"310\"\u003e36.5 \/ 14.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr data-start=\"311\" data-end=\"375\"\u003e\n\u003ctd data-start=\"311\" data-end=\"318\" data-col-size=\"sm\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-start=\"318\" data-end=\"335\" data-col-size=\"sm\"\u003e62 \/ 24.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-start=\"335\" data-end=\"354\" data-col-size=\"sm\"\u003e45 \/ 17.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-col-size=\"sm\" data-start=\"354\" data-end=\"375\"\u003e39 \/ 15.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr data-start=\"376\" data-end=\"440\"\u003e\n\u003ctd data-start=\"376\" data-end=\"383\" data-col-size=\"sm\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-start=\"383\" data-end=\"400\" data-col-size=\"sm\"\u003e63 \/ 24.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-col-size=\"sm\" data-start=\"400\" data-end=\"419\"\u003e47.5 \/ 18.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-col-size=\"sm\" data-start=\"419\" data-end=\"440\"\u003e41.5 \/ 16.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr data-start=\"441\" data-end=\"505\"\u003e\n\u003ctd data-start=\"441\" data-end=\"448\" data-col-size=\"sm\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-col-size=\"sm\" data-start=\"448\" data-end=\"465\"\u003e64 \/ 25.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-col-size=\"sm\" data-start=\"465\" data-end=\"484\"\u003e50 \/ 19.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-col-size=\"sm\" data-start=\"484\" data-end=\"505\"\u003e44 \/ 17.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"EpiAl's Shop","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Khaki","offer_id":48680034500823,"sku":"85A781D138004421B9C55CE740D50CB0","price":38.75,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Khaki","offer_id":48680034533591,"sku":"EA4986814C7B46C594154163FE041D30","price":38.75,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Khaki","offer_id":48680034566359,"sku":"FD1A87E9F37545C8B7795C481BB6C3C8","price":38.75,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Khaki","offer_id":48680034599127,"sku":"E6293850148844858793CB04381FB2A7","price":38.75,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Khaki","offer_id":48680034631895,"sku":"B65DFA8353A441FD89435E4583C5C001","price":38.75,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"url":"https:\/\/swiftcove-3.myshopify.com\/products\/assigned-human-cat-dress-lifetime-assignment-slip-dress","provider":"Swiftcove","version":"1.0","type":"link"}